But I'm sharing because the other day, while I was in the yard, where I spend most of my free time, I was so filled with confusion about some things that are happening that these words just had to come out.  Though I was doing yard duty and I had to stop working (which is unusual) to start this "conversation", which is even more unusual. It's unusual because I don't usually stop until I've run out of steam. If I do stop prematurely, I don't generally make it back out to the yard until my next "unscheduled" visit.

Another reason I share this is because I haven't written like this in almost 30 years.  I stopped when I got married. I didn’t want my husband to find it.  He never knew I wrote stuff like "that".  This, by the way, is mild, compared to "that".

Once in a while I’ll get a rhyme in my head. My grandchildren love them! But mostly it’s silly stuff.  It's a part of me that I thought was reserve just for them. It's the kind of stuff that makes them know how silly their grandma is. It's the kind of stuff that lightens their day.

To many, these words will speak volumes.  Some will not understand at all.  I am sharing them anyway because I know that many will understand.  I know that if I share now, someone will be able to set their burden down. I know that there are too many who carry that burden that is all wrapped up in pretty wrappings with a lovers bow on top.  Beautiful on the outside, but so ugly on the inside.

For those of you who are still trapped, let me share this.  Even if you don't feel you can leave the premises, you can still be free in Christ, but only by the power of His Spirit.

For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord's freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ's slave.

(1 Corinthians 7:22 NASB)

May God bless you with freedom in Christ!

3-25-06

Black man,

my beautiful black man,

why have you

abandoned me?

Is it because I no longer

entwine you

undermine you

while I wiggle

on your knee?

Why now are you apprehensive

as I learn integrity?

As a huntress

undressed you

with dark eyes

compelled you.

I pressed you with passion

you could not be free

of me.

You loved the rough and tough

in me.

Now my value I’ve been shown

sitting here before His throne

and you’ve left me alone

won’t even use the phone.

You left all,

the car, money.

You came running

sweet like honey.

Tossed those every-things

aside.

never asking

never denied

came a runnin

came adored

came to claim, me,

your reward.

But now I ask

what was that for?

You came accepted

not refused

to this, my place

this false refuge.

So willing, youthful

you bet it all.

We snuggled,

spinning

prepared to fall.

I gave some too,

but never all.

Why not my freedom

to YOU I’d crawl!

So now that I know

a love divine

you’ve turn away,

My love. Now?

Why?

I’m disappointed,

often cry.

I feel that new chill.

Can real love die?

Always so willing

it was not true

but slowly killing

each of us two.

You needed me!

And I worked hard.

But, I did warn you

we’d choke on lies.

Now there’s only

what money buys.

I now know new love

true love for you.

It’s sure love

pure love

we never knew.

This love will fill

and never leave.

It takes no skill

just your free will.

None can compare.

All that glitters ain’t gold

It won’t try you or

deny you

just calm your soul.

Not like my bed

where I weave

silken threads

to deceive you.

Relieved you

believed you’d

been fed?

His love gives Life.

His word is Bread.

He won’t play games

inside your head.

It’s not make-believe,

You’ll be contented.

It won’t bind you

in ribbons scented.

It will never direct you

towards spiritual death

as when I clung to you

with fast, eager breaths.

Christ’s love is holy.

I offer boldly

freely, not soiled.

Not perfumed or oiled.

You, my prey

I release to His hands

And ask,

that I be forgiven, again?

For I now see coldly

with my sights on you only

how I convinced you to stay,

be my man for all days.

For my part in that madness

I bear heartbreaking shame.

In deep sadness.

I am humbled again

praying it’s God you’ll let reign.

You had no chance for escape.

I was devilish bait.

My apologies flow

from my heart ‘cause I know

you’d be much better yet

had we never met.

If you accept my new Love

he will comfort

My love,

keep you dry in the rain

remove from you my chain

overflow like a flood.

For you His shed blood

covers all

knowing all

being all

Hear Him call?

With His love he can hold you.

Let THAT tightly enfold you.

Let it gather on you

like a soft morning dew.

You will find

it is precious

so Pure

and so rare.

And so unlike your huntress

never doubt that He cares.

Christ’s love now abides

where you once

sought to hide

your sorrows

your pride

in this body of mine.

Won’t you

give Him a try?

He will seat you on high.

Only don’t wait too long,

too much time to choose wrong.

For you He sacrificed

paid the greatest price

to cover your debt

and your sins to forget.

Black man

My beautiful black man

Today I set you free

You belong to My First Love,

He’s much safer than me.